First Things First

I haven't had a blog since I was nineteen years old, and I have no honest idea what has compelled to me to start up again. The last time obviously didn't end well, though I must admit, it had a mighty good run for three years.

Maybe it's the fact that, exactly one week from today, I turn the dreaded age of twenty-three years old. I know the typical reaction to my supposed 'dread' is shock, horror, raised-eyebrows and a lovely, "Oh honey, shut the fuck up. Wait until you turn forty." Well, I'm not necessarily looking forward to forty either, to be honest with you, but twenty-three to me just feels so damn old. It's been five years since high school, and I'm only seven years away from thirty. Let me tell you, ladies and gents, these past five years have gone by in the blink of an eye, and I expect the next seven to pick up the pace. Before I know it, I'll be slapping on the Icy Hot, bitching about my arthritis, and visiting the cardiologist twice a week. The best thing I have to look forward to now, as far as birthdays go, is twenty-five when I can rent a car without paying excruciatingly ridiculous age fees.

TB came inside me for the first time, a couple of weeks ago, and seeing as my doctors have ordered me away from birth control, as it does funky things to my body that we won't discuss, I have a feeling this is going to turn out odd. I get to take a pregnancy test on Saturday so I'll get to see if I'm knocked up or not. Is it odd that I'm not really partial to one way or another? Though I have suddenly acquired the strange habit of sticking my belly flab out whenever I walk by a mirror now, as though that might give me a vague idea of what Pregnant Me might look like. I'm sure the stretch marks, and crabbiness, aside from my normal crabbiness of course, would be horrendous. Not really looking forward to constant gas either, but meh. What are you gonna do, you know? I guess not be an irresponsible cunt like I've been. But I'm pretty set in the ground with my career and everything. It wouldn't be the worst possible thing to happen to me.

Plus I turn twenty-three next week.