I'm On My Way to Heart Attack Valley

It really fucking irritates me when I can't grasp something right away. Today the boss asked me to do some rate revisions for a client we're adamantly trying to contract with, and for some cock and balls reason, I couldn't get my head around the procedures and what exactly I needed to do.

For starters the boss calls me during lunch hour, while she's out and about on spring break with her kids. Apparantly bosses do not believe in complete vacations. (On a side note, my vacation is next week, and I fully intend to shut off my phone and put an Out-Of-Office reply on my email.) Being the loyal minion I am, I jumped on the phone and hurriedly took some sort of abstract notes while she rambled on about rate revisals. The entire time, I'm nodding my head at the phone saying, "Got it. Got it. Mhm. You bet." while I literally had no flipping idea what she was talking about. Something about internal and external rates, followed by percentages of what we recieved, reduce rate by 10.00 if over fifteen, divide by the square root of 8945326584.3 and label it all on a spreadsheet.

So there I was, scowling at the computer screen for ten minutes at a blank Excel spreadsheet, my hardly touched Chinese food now discarded in the trash can. Not a clue in my mind as to what I was really supposed to do here. I'm not like some people, whom can somehow turn into Albert Einstein and bring the second-rising of Christ with them in their stressful moments. I completely crumble. My heart rate picks up, my head goes into my hands, I turn three shades of red, and the first person to talk to me usually gets to feel the blunt end of my stress.

It's a genetic thing, completely gift-wrapped and topped with a bow. Labeled: "Love, Dad".

So after finally relenting, and deciding I'm going to have to let my boss know I'm a complete moron, I call her up, only to find out the key to my stress-relief was lying neatly on her desk, just waiting for me to find it. Yep, after twenty minutes of a near heart-attack, I was so thankful she hadn't told me this tidbit in the first place. I get this project done in a total of four minutes, and I'm left sitting here feeling like a complete dumbass. A dumbass that took twenty AND four minutes figuring out how to do a simple project. Corporate America just sucks.

Anywho, period is due tomorrow, so I guess I'll see if my uterus is inhabited or not. Whatever that women's intuition thing is, it's totally not working for me. Other women said they could feel it the second they concieved. Others say they know exactly when their period is coming. Must be nice. My body is the quiet killer, as I like to call it. Everything sneaks up on me. No warning signs, nada.

TB and TR had the day off today, though for the life of me, I can't figure out why TR did. He works five days a week, on a set schedule so I'm thinking his rift with GK last night led him to being an emo bitch this morning, thus calling out of work. TR is really starting to piss me off. He moved into our house about a month and a half ago, never cleans up after himself, never OFFERS to clean up after himself, still has yet to get a car, trots GK in here like he's getting a two for one deal on rent, 'accidently' locks himself out of the house at all hours of the night, invites people into his room when GK is butt ass naked on the floor. He's just gross, and he's about to find himself out on the street.

Only six more days of being young. Sigh. Twenty-three is coming way too fast.